John Marsden Writing Topic #52

Write a horoscope for cars**

Ferrari (Aries)

You’re seen a symbol of wealth and luxury and sexiness, however today there will be an influx of middle-aged men going through mid-life crises wanting to buy Ferraris to get in touch with their lost youth. You know they won’t be fooling anyone, but try to see the best of it. You will no longer be a lonely collector’s items.

Lamborghini (Taurus)

Your frustration with the monotony of doing laps around a race track with the hope of a win will peak with another upcoming race on a special occasion that was supposed to be a holiday. However you will bask in knowing you have brothers and cousins out there missing out on their holidays too. The forecast is good, so try to enjoy the day.

Mazda 3 (Gemini)

You will be subjected to long drives for your owner to fulfill the need for quality time with family in tourist-friendly locations. You will get a much-needed workout and get to see heaps of tourist attractions. Make sure your owner doesn’t forget your service on the 19th.

Chevy Impala (Cancer)

Although you make a good family car, you will be surprised to discover that you also have talents for business. You will have an internal battle of what is more enjoyable for you–carrying the weight of people or equipment. This battle will end when the opportunity to carry both presents itself towards the end of the month.

Jeep (Leo)

The Christmas holidays will present the perfect opportunity for a much-needed adventure. You will really get to explore your capabilities for adventures rather than for travelling long-distances. Your tyres will experience all types of surfaces–sand, mud, mountains, even a bit of water. You will love being able to be used for adventure, but enjoy it while it lasts as it will be a while before the next one.

Ford Fiesta (Virgo)

This is the day for the new Ford Fiestas to make their debut and get much needed test drives. You will meet a lot of new people, however some people you will like more than others. For those of you who have aged a few years, you will get a much needed makeover at the car wash.

Holden (Libra)

Holden’s time is winding down with manufacturing ceasing within the next two years. Make the most of this time to shine, especially the special time of Christmas. The new year will provide you with many opportunities to show your owner what they will be missing. Watch out for rain.

BMW (Scorpio)

Some of you will be bought by those in wealth and you will be spoiled by enthusiastic car lovers who know how to treat you right, enjoy it while you can.

Hyundai (Sagittarius)

Be prepared for the new luxury model cousins of yours that are out in the world. You will feel jealous at first, that’s natural, but everyone is different, it’s what makes everyone or every car in the world unique. Take the opportunity to be friends with your new cousins, who knows you could learn something about luxury.

Alfa Romeo (Capricorn)

A new luxury cousin will be coming out, but not to fear, they have their own needs to fulfill and their own adventures to have. Enjoy the new year and the opportunities it can bring.

Audi (Aquarius)

Mistakes are inevitable, the best way to deal with mistakes is to learn from them. Both you and your owner will learn this in autumn with a slight fender bender. Don’t worry the injuries won’t be serious but to help both you and your owner heal, you will be pampered with a makeover involving new technology to prevent the fender bender from happening again.

Lexus (Pisces)

You will have trouble finding yourself this year with some of you having to face the possibility of having multiple owners. It will take its toll, but have faith by mid-year you will find an owner who will treat you right and make you feel useful.


**Reference: Marsden, J 1998, Everything I Know About Writing, Pan Macmillan, Australia.





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