John Marsden Writing Topic #307

Write a piece that makes fun of someone who’s obsessed with their own health**#


You hypochondriac!

You must drive yourself insane,

with all the names of your supposed ailments.

A cough, a sneeze,

it must be a serious disease,

no it’s just the flu,

get in bed and rest,

it’s a bug giving your immune system a test.


You hypochondriac!

You over-the-counter medicine maniac!

You must be a regular by now!

I heard you buy presents for the chemists on their birthdays

and they all know you by name,

they’ve memorised the game.

They humour you, give you any bottle,

usually just Panadol full throttle,

ask you to pay

and send you on your way.


You hypochondriac!

You supposed haemophiliac,

your doctor told you that wasn’t the case,

because it’s not true and he just wants space.

He tells you you’re not sick,

but you won’t accept that one bit.

When will you see,

that your good health will set you free?


You hypochondriac!

What is it that your life lacks,

that you’re such a germophobic sad sack?


You hypochondriac…


#I mistakenly thought that this writing topic fell under the Poetry category. The Poetry category kicks off from Writing Topic #308. However since I had an inspiration surge, I decided to go with it and publish it anyway.


**Reference: Marsden J 1998, Everything I Know About Writing, Pan Macmillan, Australia.

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