John Marsden Writing Topic #549
Write a set of instructions, explaining to kids how to get their own way with their parents**
How To Get Your Own Way With Your Parents
This set of instructions of how to get your own way with your parents is age based, pick the age that applies to you and follow those instructions to the letter.
Newborn to Age 1: Crying
Since at this age you can’t talk yet, cry until your parents give you the attention you want.
Ages 2 to 4: Tantrums
Now that you have developed language skills and can walk, expand on these skills by yelling, screaming, crying, stomping, kicking and dragging until your parents surrender and give you what you want. The best place to do this would be somewhere public like a supermarket and/or a restaurant.
Ages 5 to 12: Manipulation
A more mature version to tantrums, however with less of a ‘performance’. Manipulation involves crying, begging and/or giving your parents the ‘puppy dog eyes’ to make them feel guilty and they give you what they want. However this is the hardest technique to pull off as parents tend to eventually catch on, so make sure you constantly practice and use different methods.
Ages 13 to 18: Rebellion
When you reach this age group you will be in high school, going through puberty and will be officially growing up. You will be enduring a lot, as well as high school and puberty, you will also have to make your way through bullying, peer pressure and people asking you what you plan on doing with your life when you finish school (especially your parents). Your parents will be your biggest supporters, but will most likely put the most pressure on you, you can only get your way by rebelling, this will drive them mad enough to let you make your own decisions (within reason).
You will also discover over the next five years that your parents aren’t perfect and don’t always know everything, especially what’s best for you. Calling them out on their behaviour and advice, especially if it’s hypocritical is another technique to get your own way.
Once you reach the age of 18, these instructions will no longer be valid as you are no longer a child. You will have to make your decisions on how to get your own way with your parents, that being said at 18, you most likely won’t want to have that kind of relationship with your parents anymore.
**Reference: Marsden J 1998, Everything I Know About Writing, Pan Macmillan, Australia.