Loveday Writing

When I Grow Up…

When I was a child, all I want to do was be a grown up. I wanted to be a grown up for a variety of reasons—being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, being able to buy things without having to ask for permission, being able to eat whatever I felt like, being able to live in my own place, being able to drive…I could go on and on. I didn’t hate being a child and I had a happy childhood, but as I am the youngest in my family, I would see my cousins growing up and wished I could live their seemingly glamorous and cool lives as adults.

Now that I am adult, I am able to do whatever I want whenever I want, I am able to buy things without having to ask for permission, I am able to eat whatever I feel like, I do live in my own place and I am able to drive. However the one thing that I never thought of growing up when I was eventually able to do all of these things is limitations. I can do all of these things but I have limitations placed upon me. I can buy things without having to ask for permission but this isn’t very often due to a limited budget thanks to Centrelink, most of my money goes toward groceries and saving it up, my parents pay most of my rent. I am able to eat whatever I feel like, however I’m not one of those type of people who can eat whatever they want and never gain weight, I’m a size 16 and I also have to maintain my good health so I can’t abandon the vegies completely.

I am a uni student in Wollongong but I was born and raised in Wagga, I have lived in student accommodation for the entire duration of my studies, this accommodation has included flexi and self catered units and an ensuite’ bedroom in a motel—so technically I have my own place but I’m still living with other people. As for being able to drive, I have my full licence but I don’t own a car so when I’m in Wollongong, I rely on public transport to get around.

Despite the limitations I have in my adulthood, which really aren’t all that different to the limitations I had as a child, I love being an adult. I am becoming more independent, I can make my own choices and be whoever I want to be. However that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my childhood completely. I miss the parts of my childhood that I have focused the previous columns on and many more. I miss not having responsibilities and only having school to worry about, I miss my parents taking care of everything for me, I miss being able to play and I miss my childhood enthusiasm and carefree view of life.

But the thing is, we all have to grow up eventually, however that doesn’t mean you should abandon your inner child completely, it’s okay to act like one every now and then.