Loveday Writing

Write a passage of dialogue in which it is obvious which speakers are male and which are female.**

The Last Hurrah (Part II)

It was the third mediation meeting in the office this week for another soon-to-be divorced couple.

Today it was Mike and Tina, it would be their first time at the negotiation table. They only lasted six months, apparently things didn’t get off to a great start to the marriage when Tina found Mike at his surprise bachelor party, organised by one of his groomsmen.

I had only just finished putting a jug of water and accompanying glasses on the table when Mike and Tina stormed in, already yelling at each other before they sat down. I walked towards the back of the room, to the steno machine, hoping they wouldn’t see me, even though I’d be taking the minutes.

“Okay, Mike and Tina, let’s just take a breath, and stay calm. This is only our first meeting.” Jim, our senior family law lawyer, calmly told them.

“Yes, and hopefully our last.” Mike quickly retorted, glaring at Tina.

“That’s a little optimistic, Mike,” Jim, again ever so calmly told him, “how speedy the proceedings will be is really up to you and Tina.”

“Speaking of speed, you got over me pretty quickly, didn’t you!?” Tina aggressively chimed in.

“Hey, at least I found someone who trusts me!”

“Well she’s a fool!”

“No I was, for ever marrying you!”

“I didn’t force you to marry me! You could have easily have backed out when I caught you and your chums at that bachelor party, that you told me was a ‘surprise’!”

“This again, it was a surprise, I didn’t know Leigh was going to do that!”

“Well if it was such a surprise, how come you had so much money on you to pay the strippers!?”

“I always have a lot of cash on me.”

“All fifties? And you’d give me the third degree whenever I bought myself a new pair of shoes!”

“Yeah, Gucci, I don’t have Gucci money.”

“But you have stripper money! You know you didn’t look so surprised when I saw you there. We’re getting divorced now, you have your new stripper girlfriend, you might as well come out and tell the truth, was the party really a surprise, or did you know all along?”

“I told you, she’s not a stripper, she’s a waitress.”

“Yeah, at the strip club, and you didn’t answer my question!”

“FINE! I knew about it! And it was the best night of my life!”

“I knew it, you lied to me, and your little waitress girlfriend was in on it.”

“No she wasn’t, and you know what, I wish she was and I wish I went home with her THAT NIGHT!”

“She won’t want to go home with you again once I take you to the cleaners, I’m going to be rich!”

“So you admit it, that’s why you married me!”

The meeting kept going on like this for another hour, some people would be uncomfortable sitting in and minuting these meetings, but I love it. I love the drama. That bachelor party would have been fun.

**Reference: Marsden J 1998, Everything I Know About Writing, Pan Macmillan, Australia.