Loveday Writing

Earlier this year I entered the NYC Midnight 100-Word Microfiction Challenge, an international creative writing competition that challenges participants to write original 100-word stories by giving them a specific genre, action, and word assignment, in 24 hours. Every writer is placed in a specific group based on the genre, action, and word assignment they are given.

The Challenge’s judges pick 15 writers (per group) to progress to the second round. This year, I progressed to the second round with the submission of my short story, Good Intentions.  

With the second round, I was assigned a new genre, action, and word assignment. I was assigned historical fiction, the action of shoving someone, and the word ‘establish.’ The NYC Midnight website states that while “there are no rules on how far in the past a story must be set to qualify it as a historical fiction piece, many are in agreement that the story must be set at least 25 years or more in the past.”

Following this rule, I wrote a story about the fall of the Berlin Wall in November 1989. I was specifically interested in writing about it from the perspective of a Mauerspecht (Wallpecker), who used various tools to chip off bits of the Wall as souvenirs, some for themselves, others to make money, every Wallpecker’s motives were different.  During my research, I found that East German Border Troops or guards attempted to repair the damage done by Wallpeckers, but eventually stopped and tolerated the Wallpeckers’ actions. My protagonist’s attitude, motives, and determination to gain a peace of the Wall, to the point of shoving a guard to get a spot close enough to the Wall to be able to get one, implies that she is or was East German.

The results of the second round were released a few days ago. I didn’t make it to the third round, but I did receive feedback on my story.

My short story and the feedback can be found below.

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Mauerspecht (Wallpecker)

Today was supposed to be peaceful, but I couldn’t help resorting to a little bit of violence.

Days ago, I would have been shot for what I’d done, but now it didn’t matter. The guard lying on the ground just stared at me, shocked at the “winzig frau” (tiny woman) that managed to shove him with one hand.

I could’ve celebrated by driving across the border with my friends, instead I replaced my fabric sign with a hammer and chisel, and got to work. New world established, I felt the old, the Wall keeping me in, owed me a piece.

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A part of entry is receiving feedback from the judges on your story, no matter how far you progress. The feedback I received from the judges on my story can be found below.

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“Mauerspecht (Wallpecker)” by Rach Loveday

WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY:

{2078} I thought this was such an interesting new way to look at the Berlin Wall. I didn’t know much about the Mauerspecht before this, but this piece convinced me to read more about it! I especially loved the ending of this piece because I really got a sense of this character’s motivation and bitterness still for this moment of history. I liked that this character was celebrating in a different way than everyone else, as it made for an interesting perspective.

{1651} You do an excellent job of world building here and immersing us in the aftermath of the conflict. I really enjoyed the explanation of the shove. It conveys so much about the world the protagonist has experienced before and what the world is becoming now. There’s also a bit of humor and satisfaction in it. 

{2419} This story recasts a famous historical moment as an instance of personal triumph over the injustices of history. The opening line sets up a mystery, as the reader wonders what day it is and what violence will ensure. The detail about the “winzig frau” is a nice bit of description that tells us about the character and the setting. The guard is a type of red herring, as we move into… The conclusion, which resolves the central mystery by showing the violence being perpetrated on the Wall, which deserves all hammers and chisels.  

WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK:

{2078} While I enjoyed this story, I struggled with the character’s motivations for taking a piece of this wall. In the end, we have it explained, that she feels owed a piece. But I would encourage the author to actually have that from the beginning. If I know why this woman is shoving this guard and why she feels so strongly, I think it would allow me a stronger kinship with this character right from the start. I think that would create more tension and more of a goal for this character. But this was a great piece. I enjoyed reading this and thank you for submitting and trusting me with your work. Please keep writing!  

{1651} While reading, I wanted a stronger sense of what the protagonist has done in the beginning of the story (“would have been shot for what I’d done”) versus what she’s doing now (“replaced my fabric sign with a hammer and chisel and got to work”). I’d make it less of a mystery so that we can follow the action. For example, it could be something along the lines of “Days ago, I would have been shot for holding up my fabric sign but now the guard doesn’t touch me while I go to work.” In that kind of phrasing, we get a little more context. I’d also consider putting the shove at the end next to the explanation (the final line) so that it feels more like the payoff to what you’ve set up. 

{2419} While the opening line is great, you might experiment with cutting it and beginning the story with “Days ago, I would have been shot for what I’d done, but now it didn’t matter.” That line is such a fantastic hook and would also serve to set up a mystery: why doesn’t it matter now? This change would also allow you to get to the nice concrete image of the guard laying on the ground faster, and to the “winzig frau” bit that offers such great context. And, a small thing. You might consider subbing a period for the comma in “with my friends, instead I replaced.” A full stop there would mimic how the protagonist does not go along with her friends, but instead separates from them (as the period would also separate the two actions: driving vs. hammering.)