Loveday Writing

Earlier this year I entered the NYC Midnight 100-Word Microfiction Challenge for the fourth time.

NYC Midnight’s 100-Word Microfiction Challenge is an international creative writing competition that challenges participants to write original 100-word stories by giving them a specific genre, action, and word assignment, in 24 hours. Every writer is placed in a specific group based on the genre, action, and word assignment that they are given. The competition judges pick 15 authors (per group) to progress to the second round.

In the first round, I was assigned to write a story under the comedy genre, and had to include the action of getting locked out, and the word ‘weak.’

The results of the first round were released in June and I was happy to find my story, Good Intentions, came in ninth place, which meant I made it to the second round.

My short story can be found below.

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Good Intentions

When I agreed to this deal years ago, I had good intentions.

I’d share my wisdom, provide gentle yet firm guidance, and save money.

My good intentions flew out the window after twenty minutes.

I was weak. I lost my cool, took over, then begged to be let out for a snack.

Once I finished the chocolate bar and felt Zen, I knocked on the locked door.

“Sara, I’m sorry that I screamed at you and took the wheel. Please let me in, I won’t do it again, I promise.”

My wife was right, our daughter deserves “real” driving lessons.

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A part of entry is receiving feedback from the judges on your story, whether you make it to the next round or not. The feedback I received from the judges on my story can be found below.

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“Good Intentions” by Rach Loveday

WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY:

{2051} I love how you opened this piece with the idea of “the deal”. That is the hook that pulls the reader in. We are immediately curious about what this story is about. I also thought you did well to provide hints and clues through to the conclusion so the reader could make the connection in the reveal and feel the satisfaction of the points all lining up.

{2330} I loved the ambiguity maintained throughout the story – one could assume the context was intense or dangerous, which made the comic reversal of a Mom having a tantrum over her kid’s driving lessons so funny. The begging to be let out for a snack was the perfect humorous segue. 

{2147} The first person narration proves fitting as our protagonist tries to welcome us into their headspace — the “why” of what they did what they did. And in recognizing they weren’t acting appropriately, the final line surprises and is welcomed all at the same time. I’m sorry I took the wheel and screamed. My wife was right, my daughter deserves real driving lessons. Zen isn’t cutting it. (Great irony!)  

WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK:

{2051} I think there is an opportunity for more immediate conflict and challenges that feel more present. I wonder if showing the reader the moments you are referring to in the car (the panic and overreaction) would allow for more comedic situations.

{2330} I wonder if even more chaotic descriptions could be attributed to the first half of the story – could screams and tears be involved in the driving lesson, making the audience believe something even more intense is occurring? It might also be interesting to read a description of Sara’s perspective as this unfolded. 

{2147} It might improve things to note something specific that went wrong here. We learn it was only 20 minutes in before things went south. We read, “I was weak, I lost my cool, took over.” So the driver must have done something wrong that triggered our protagonist to lose their cool and take over. Why not say what it was.