Loveday Writing

As she is listening to instructions on how to pitch her magazine to publishers attending the Festival, Doug Renetti (Jake Johnson) starts a make conversation with Joyce. As she is trying to listen to the instructions, she tries not to talk to him, however she does mention her magazine and the fact that she’s been working on it for years. This leads to Doug giving her his business card, however as he publishes pornography, she dismisses him.

We see Joyce unsuccessfully pitch her magazine, The Matriarchy Awakens, to mainstream publishers by comparing them to successful women’s magazines and them turning her down as her magazine is too aggressive. When she runs into Doug at the end of the day, he tells her that he overheard her pitches and suggests that she say her magazine is the same as the other women’s magazines but with a twist. After Joyce jokingly suggests to Doug that he be original with his publications by publishing nude men, she leaves dropping a copy of The Matriarchy Awakens on her way out.

When Joyce arrives at her apartment, she finds her boyfriend, Glenn, waiting outside for her. They were supposed to go to his parents’ house for dinner and she forgot. As she is getting ready for dinner and tells him about the Festival, he reveals that he thought she would have given up on The Matriarchy Awakens by now and asks her to choose between it and him, she chooses the magazine and he leaves.

Three weeks pass and we see Joyce working in sales at Teen Queen magazine, covertly encouraging callers to subscribe to other magazines, when Doug comes to see her. He tells her to meet him for lunch at a diner. During lunch, Doug tells her that he gave his centrefold models the copy of The Matriarchy Awakens that she dropped at the Festival and they loved it. He also tells her that he keeps receiving feedback from his male readers about women changing, and he wants to publish a magazine that women like and he believes hers is the perfect one, albeit with changes, which includes a nude, male centrefold.

Later, we see Joyce telling her older sister, Shelly, about the meeting and Doug’s offer of an office, staff, and funding for three issues. Shelly encourages her to take his offer as she hasn’t had any others and it might be her only chance to bring her magazine to life. When we see Joyce go to Doug’s office the next day, she meets Bambi (Jessica Lowe), one of Doug’s centrefold models who is going to be working for her as a ‘Centrefold Coordinator’ a title she has given herself. When Bambi shows her around, she is overwhelmed by the nudity and various sexual attire and equipment around the office. She is also introduced to Richie, a make-up artist who will also be working on the magazine.

Joyce then meets Tina, Doug’s long-time secretary, before they all sit down for an editorial meeting, where Doug tells Joyce she has a week to come up with a test issue. Joyce tries to keep the centrefold idea intellectual, even recommending feminist books for everyone to read, only to clash with Doug as he wants the centrefold to turn the women who will be reading the magazine on. After the meeting, Doug and Tina talk in Doug’s office, with Tina asking if he’s made the right call. He tells her that this is a magazine they won’t have to sell under the counter and that they just need to get Joyce out of her own head.

The next day as Joyce is driving to work, she sees a long line of men forming applying to be a centrefold model. When Joyce gets to work and sees Doug, he asks her to let them try his way of running things to get the test issue going. Doug, Joyce, Tina, Richie and Bambi sit in on the centrefold interviews, with Joyce trying to make them intellectual only for Doug to walk in and ask them to take their pants off and show their penises for Richie to photograph. We then see a montage of men and their penises being photographed.

At midnight, just as Doug and Joyce are clashing on the centrefold again, a firefighter, Shane, shows up with his pants off already, to be interviewed. As Joyce is about to dismiss him, an earthquake happens and he puts himself on top of her to prevent a light from falling on her. Afterwards, the staff go to a bar and party all night. When Bambi drops Joyce home, Glenn is there waiting for her again, this time with her stuff. Glenn reveals that he knows about her magazine being launched by Bottom Dollar Publications and calls her a sell-out. We then see Joyce’s daydream again, only this time, she is being shamed with Gloria Steinem and the crowd throwing tomatoes at her. Joyce is snapped out of it by a phone call from Bambi telling her that the centrefold photoshoot is going ahead.

Joyce goes back to the office and discovers Shane posing for a cliché fireman pose against a pole, which she immediately chastises as being cheesy. This leads to the tension between Joyce and Doug coming to a head with Joyce rejecting Doug’s money as she can’t stand by the meaningless centrefold.

As Easter approaches, Shelly visits Joyce with an Easter basket as she hasn’t heard from or seen her in weeks. She also gives her a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine, which features Burt Reynolds’ famous centrefold, which proves Doug’s theory right that another magazine would publish a nude centrefold sooner or later if they didn’t do it themselves. We then see a montage of women everywhere looking at the centrefold, including her work colleagues whom she previously told Doug were “G-Rated”. Her colleagues even joke with their creepy boss, Corey, that he should be a male centrefold model, which he says is an inappropriate.

Joyce goes to see Doug at his suburban home, admitting he was right, and he in turn calls her out on her hypocrisy in dismissing his ideas only to give him approval when a more “respected” publication executes said ideas. Joyce admits that she didn’t realise how hard it would be to bring her magazine to life, and that the ability to look at a male centrefold is what makes a woman feel powerful and that’s what the magazine should be about. Joyce leaves, telling him that she has a great idea for a centrefold, which is revealed to be Shane posing as a construction worker with Bambi and other female centrefold models in suits catcalling him.

The episode ends with Doug telling Joyce the magazine needs a different title, and Joyce coming up with ‘Minx’.

Overall, I felt that this was a solid pilot as the main characters and setting were easily established. In regards to the characters, I appreciated that Doug was constantly calling Joyce out on her preconceived ideas of both him and his female centrefold models when she was surprised that the models read The Matriarchy Awakens and that he lived in a stereotypical suburban house. You could even argue that Bambi herself was symbolic of Joyce’s preconceived ideas and hypocrisy as she was the blonde centrefold who was eager to learn and work on the magazine, and being the only person taking notes in the editorial meeting. I also appreciated Doug’s analogy of tweaking The Matriarchy Awakens with the inclusion of nude, male centrefolds by “hiding the medicine”, he doesn’t want to diminish what Joyce is trying to achieve, rather make it sellable, I’m looking forward to see how this analogy plays out in future episodes.

Stray Observations:

Episode title – Not like a shvantz right in the face is a remark Doug makes about male centrefold ideas for the magazine.

-The list of publications on Doug’s business card includes:

• Naughty Knockers
• Hot Chocolate
• Stiletto Slappers
• Chesty Chicanas
• High Heel Hoochies
• Country Clubbers
• Indian Princesses
• Oriental Charms
• Secretary Secrets
• Bobby Sock Beauties
• Ladies of Leather
• Feet Feet Feet
• Lusty Lesbos
• Cocked & Ready
• Giant Juggs
• Milky Moms

-Doug tells Joyce that he has 12 titles on the rack, however his business card lists 16 titles. This could be a continuity error or possibly some of the titles listed on the business card may have folded.

-Doug’s publishing company is called Bottom Dollar Publications.

-Some of the framed magazine covers/titles on the wall in Bottom Dollar Publications’ office include:

• Randy Republicans
• Hot Chocolate (listed on Doug’s business card)
• Shake Your Caboose
• Rich & Horny
• Giant Juggs (listed on Doug’s business card)
• Secretary Secrets (listed on Doug’s business card)

-Bambi was Miss May, June and July of Bodacious Butts, another one of Doug’s titles.

-Some of the coverlines on The Matriarchy Awakens included:

• Women in Prison: What can be done to help?
• Marital rape: When a crime is not a crime
• Automation and women workers: The challenges ahead

-Joyce has apparently seen two-and-half penises in dim lighting…what constitutes half a penis?

Best one liners and interactions:

• “Do people enjoy your company?” “Not really.” (Doug-Joyce)
• “Are erections consistent with our philosophy? If our goal is to level the playing field between the sexes then should our penises be ready to assault? Or should they be approachable and unassuming, draped gently on a thigh, tucked away under a throw?” “I think you’re missing the point of a centrefold. No-one cares about philosophy. The only question that matters is, ‘does it turn you on?’” (Joyce-Doug on the centrefold)
• “Did you strip down in our hall?” “The receptionist told me to. Did I do something wrong?” “Not cool Rita!” “Aw, that’s happened to me a million times.” (Tina-Shane-Doug-Bambi on Shane arriving to the office for a centrefold interview with his pants already off)
• “Jeez, being a woman is intense.” (Shane as he’s being photographed for the centrefold as a construction worker with Bambi and other female centrefold models posing as office workers catcalling him)