Five Bedrooms – Season 3 Premiere (Zero Logic)

The job of a season premiere is to establish story arcs and subplots for the season, this premiere did its job and I’m going to review it character by character.

Ben, Heather, Bec, Mia and Simmo – As Ben, Heather, Bec, Mia and Simmo were the main focus of the episode, I’m going to start with them. The premiere kicks off with Ben and Simmo nervously preparing for the arrival of their first B&B guests for the self-contained room, a subplot which carries over from the second season finale. Their first guests, Sam and Geri, a lesbian couple, were found by Liz as Geri is one of her old friends.

As Ben is welcoming Sam and Geri, Bec calls to tell him that Mia has run away. He ends up calling the police, which brings Harry’s former boyfriend from season one, Pete, over as he is the constable assigned to the case. He tells them that Mia can’t officially be reported missing unless she’s been gone for 24 hours, but he does ask them for their phone messages with Mia, which reveals that Mia has become close to Heather.

Later, Mia sneaks into the self-contained room in the middle of the night, scaring everyone, including Sam and Geri awake. Mia tells Ben that she doesn’t want to go home and wants to live with him. Ben calls Bec to tell her that Mia is safe and wants to stay the night and she lets her. When he goes to bed, he asks Heather for advice on how to tell Bec that Mia wants to live with him. Heather tells him that it would be best to come from him and that he should go and see her now as she wouldn’t be sleeping.

Ben goes to see Bec at her house, he tries to sell Mia living with him as the chance for him to step up and be the stricter parent, which will ultimately drive Mia to go back to her, however Bec sees right through it. Bec breaks down over her apparent failure as a mother and her marriage not being great at the moment. She ends up kissing Ben and they end up having sex.

When Ben comes back home and gets back into bed with Heather, she asks him if it would be weird for her to reach out to Bec and offer to help. He says it would be to offer help now. The next morning when the housemates are discussing the situation, Simmo manages to figure out that Ben and Bec hooked up and hastily leaves the house. He sees Bec on his way out, and she realises that he knows. When she gets to the front door, Heather greets her and commends her on her mothering. When Bec leaves after letting Mia stay another night, she asks Ben if Heather knows and was messing with her, he tells her no. She then asks if he told Simmo and he says no. Later Ben visits Simmo on site and tells him to keep it a secret.

Overall I appreciated the appearance of Mia and the potential story arc of her living with Ben and the other housemates. I did see in the show’s third season trailer that Ben admitted to cheating on Heather but it wasn’t clear who he cheated on her with. I was personally disappointed to see this as I felt it was out of character, and I still feel that it is, however him cheating with Bec makes sense as he’s not the type of man to hook up with a random woman. I also appreciated that Simmo figured it out straight away, as it’s a testament to his character, as well as his and Ben’s long-standing friendship. This story arc and the potential consequences on all the housemates and Simmo was well set up and I’m looking forward to seeing how it plays out.

Harry – There wasn’t much of a focus on Harry, however the focus was on a potential rekindled romance with Pete, due to Pete’s involvement in Mia’s short-lived disappearance. The chemistry between them was clear, however Harry feels he misinterpreted Pete’s friendliness towards him after Pete reveals to the group that he has a six-month-old son. Harry interprets this as Pete being in a relationship of some kind, but when he confides in Ainsley about it, she points out that he doesn’t know for sure if he’s a single dad or not.

Overall I was surprised but not disappointed by the reappearance of Pete. Harry and Pete’s relationship didn’t work the first time around as Harry wasn’t out of the closet, now that he is and has dated someone else, a relationship between them has a better chance of working out this time, but only time will tell. I also appreciate that Ainsley has become his confidant as Liz is still in the UK.

Ainsley – There wasn’t much of a focus on Ainsley either, however it was nice to see that hers and Simmo’s relationship is going well so far.

Liz – Liz made some appearances over FaceTime to ensure that Sam and Geri’s stay went well (it didn’t). We didn’t find out what was going on with her, but her appearances were in character. Despite the stay not going well and checking out early, as Geri regards Liz as an old friend, she gives the housemates a five-star review, knowing that the B&B is funding her master’s degree.

Overall I felt that this was a solid season premiere as two solid story arcs were established and the continuity from the previous seasons was seamless. I’m looking forward to reviewing the rest of the season.

Stray Observations:

-Apparently Heather’s sons ran away plenty of times when they were growing up, both as a team and individually.

-Mia has a little brother, a one-year-old, Bec was pregnant in the first season.

-Heather and Mia gave a mean girl at Mia’s school the nickname “Witch’s tit”.

-According to Simmo, he and Ainsley have been together for four months and nine days, which also means that this is the amount of time that has passed between the events of the second season finale and this episode.

-According to Harry, he and Mia had a few conversations about pop stars, mostly Taylor Swift and Harry Styles. This is a great gag that goes back to the first season when Mia first met the group and Ben told her that Harry knew all about Taylor Swift.

-According to Heather, the first time Timmy ran away and came home, she screamed so loud that the neighbours two blocks away called the cops on her.

-Ainsley’s handwriting is the only handwriting Liz trusts.

-Simmo has a certificate in remedial massage, apparently it’s not laminated.

-Simmo tells Ben that he waits for Ainsley to fall asleep so he can sneak out and sleep on the couch, and sneak back into bed before she wakes up, as she can’t sleep with him due to his snoring. It doesn’t always work though as he fell asleep at a set of traffic lights once.

Best one liners and interactions:

  • “They’re completely at sea.” “Or, are they just very enthusiastic?” (Heather-Ainsley on Ben and Simmo preparing for their first B&B guest)
  • “Halve the display cushions. Just put one chocolate on each pillow, not two entire blocks. You’ve used the wrong sheets. The champagne should not be open, and for the love of God move those leaves from the open flame!” (Ainsley giving feedback to Ben and Simmo on how the self-contained room has been decorated)
  • “Liz said no nicknames!” (Ainsley to Ben on greeting their first guests)
  • “I’m an old mate of Ben’s, and we’re also business partners, and I’ve been romantically involved with Ainsley for four months and nine days.” (Simmo introducing himself to Pete)
  • “I’m also Mia’s godfather.” “You’re not mate.” “Yeah, but if anything happened to her Uncle Joey…” “Well that’s a conversation.” (Simmo to Pete, then Ben and Simmo going back-and-forth)
  • “Can I get you a chamomile tea? Or something stronger? A whiskey or a mild sedative perhaps?” (Ainsley to Sam and Geri after Mia scares them awake in the middle of the night)
  • “Well that’s how you’re supposed to feel about brothers. You start off hating them, over time you learn to ignore them, and they go away.” (Ben to Mia)

Leave a comment